


Umbridge the Muggle Principle

by Yemi Hikari (Yemi_Hikari)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Humor, Satire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-10
Updated: 2011-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:13:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24989617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yemi_Hikari/pseuds/Yemi%20Hikari
Kudos: 1





	1. The New Principal

At Moggle Highschool, they had been having problems enforcing certain rules. These rules in particular only dealt with the dress code. But they had parents complaining about the fact that the students were breaking the school dress code. Of course, this dress code had been set up about three years ago and in reality, it was those parents who were most complaining who had the children who didn't dress right. Part of this was that the students could change out of dress code before they got home.

So, they had decided to get rid of the old Principal and get a new one. Though really, was it the principals fault? Or was it because they needed to have a scapegoat for the school to fall back on. I mean, the most obvious choice was the principle. This happened even though she could not possibly have seen every single student in the entire school. She had been more focused on getting the students a good education and keeping the grounds safe.

So, then, since she was fired, there was in need of a replacement. They went through many of the resumes, but none of them were 'disciplinary' enough. It was then that a woman came in with her resume. At first sight, they could tell that she was such a person. Her hair was so curly, it spoke that she would let nothing get in the way of her disciplining the students. Her large, frog like mouth gave out that she was able to command with a loud, booming voice. And her eyes, well though slightly twitchy, told that no one would get past her watch.

So, they would have just hired her, if it weren't for the fact that they would have had complaints from some of the parents.

"So, may I ask, what have you done in the past for work?"

"For the longest time I worked in the government. You might say it was based on _immigration._ For awhile I worked in a school that needed disciplinary action right away. I was originally a teacher, but I was moved up to the position of head mistress."

"What sort of disciplinary action was needed."

"The students weren't just breaking school rules. They were breaking government laws."

"It says here that you were awhile in a hospital?"

"It was an accident related to a horse print in my back. Need I say more?"

"I see. Well, the hospital does say that your cured. What exactly is it that you were in for."

"I don't believe that you are allowed to pry into my medical history. That, sir, is against the law,"

"Well, I see nothing wrong. Actually, you're the only one who can probably do the job." The man got up and shook her hand. "Welcome to the school, Principal Umbridge."


	2. Book Banning

The day before school started, a parent was there from one of the committees to see Umbridge. She wore a very nice business suit and had a presence that spoke that she knew what she was doing.

"What is the committee you represent?"

"I am Mrs. Danbroth from the Committee for Decency in Literacy. We are seeking the banning and placement under lock and key of certain books that we feel are indecent for our children to read.."

"Each book must have a good reason as too why you would want to ban it."

"The first is _The Headless Cupid._ The young girl in the book is into witchcraft and is teaching it to other children. We first of all do not feel that magic is real. We also do not want our children thinking they can go and practice the things they find in the book because they will either hurt them, fool them into believing something that isn't true."

Umbridge pondered for awhile. Any book that dealt with that could not possibly be good for her at school, especially the community she came from. She took out a piece of paper and scribbled down the name.

"The second is _How to Eat Fried Worms._ In the book, the little boy eats worms under a dare. We have enough problems with the show _Fear Factor._ Many of us forbid our children from watching that. Why would we wish for our children to read a book where they would get the idea to do something like that.

' _Put Fred and George Weasly into the school, and they could probably get the other students to do it without a book or even their wands, just to see what would happened.'_ Umbridge shuddered at the thought of the two boys and scribbled down the name. For the person who didn't know better, which was everyone at school, one would just think she was disgusted with the concept of eating worms. She could care less though what stupid things the students did, so long as they weren't in front of her.

"The third and fourth books are _The Adventures of Tom Sawyer_ and _Huckleberry Finn_. These books spread racial problems through the school. I mean, they use _that_ word."

Umbridge didn't want to ask. But, one of the ways to get kicked out of the school was to not seem sympathetic to racial issues. And she personally never cared about the color of the skin. Instead, she worried if the person was a giant-half breed or those blasted centaurs.

"The fifth book we wish to ban is _Harry Potter_ ,"

"Harry Potter?"

"I see you've heard of _Harry Potter_? Well, it is just as with the first book."

Uxbridge gleefully scribbled down the book. "Anymore?"

"No, we feel that a slow start is better then overdoing it and giving the librarian a lot of work to do. Thank you for you time."

"You're welcome," Umbridge nodded as the lady left. "Your defiantly more then welcome.


	3. End Game

With a new person, changes do occur. Of course, it became quite apparent that Umbridge wasn't a good principle to have at the school. For some reason, she seemed to have a vendetta against all of the students, none of them knowing that she disliked them because they were Muggles and she was not happy that she had been removed from her playing field.

The woman made things bad for the students, taking away privileges and making it so that they had no rights at all. Now, one might argue that students don't have rights, but she did crazy things like forbidding any of the students from having an after school job, or forbidding the students from having any sort of art or music class. She liked being in charge and she liked making people's lives miserable.

Well, of course, there came the time that the students had enough. Well, actually... the teachers had enough and wanted her gone from the school. The last straw was when she banned the school's mascot because it was a horse. So, a group of students decided to get together to get rid of her.

Umbridge was doing her duties, when she walked through the door to the gym, only to find a bucket of some very sticky liquid dumped onto her shoulders. The woman found her cheeks turning a deep red, and she stormed forward, asking who had done it. However, some of the students turned on a huge fan, blowing feathers at her.

And then, a huge horse head was lifted above her head, part of the mascot costume. It was dumped down onto her head. The next thing the students knew, Umbridge was being hauled away in the ambulance and a bunch of cheers went up.


End file.
